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Monday, February 2nd, 2004
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8:02 pm - HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HISASHI!!
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Hello Everyone. (I know, big audience)...
I'm updating today! Long time, huh?
Anyway, nothing big happened today. My mom's back from her 24 hour motherhood lapse and has resumed her position as a moocher-wino. Thats okay though!
Anyway, TODAY IS HISASHI FROM GLAY's BIRTHDAY!! There's a tribute picture up as my avatar... for a limited time only! Happy Birthday, Hisashi, please, many more to come.
Anyway, Chris, I haven't heard from you in a long time, and I'm not going to email you anymore. Maybe you're better off that way? Whatever. Oh, and if anyone sees a job opening around where I am that is not CVS or Stop & Shop, tell me?
current mood:  anxious
current music: Memorial Address-- Ayu
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| Friday, October 3rd, 2003
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3:30 pm - super.
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I'm at a loss. Completely. Lately, I just haven't been able to concentrate on anything for the life of me. I really need to do something. I have no idea why I'm updating, I've got not much to say, but, I'll write anyway.
As soon as I get offline, I have to call the coffee place about my job. I really need to get a new one, so I'm hoping to get one at Marylou's coffee. If you don't live in MA (and, uh, you probably don't.) you probably don't know the pink-ditzy connotation that place has. Whatever, I gotta get out of my current job. I'll work anywhere...
Besides, who ever said free coffee was a bad thing?
Geometry homework? That's another thing to laugh about.
Why doesn't this stop sucking?
People keep making things worse.
Its like a never ending spiral.
I wonder what I'm doing...
if I'll ever touch the bottom.
~Ta!
current mood:  sore
current music: Bump of Chicken- Sailing day.
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| Wednesday, July 2nd, 2003
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9:56 pm - I know two entries in one day might be slightly unethical....
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I'm home from work. Seems like the job's for keeps- for now. I've only been working there for a year, but, I know those people too damn well... anyway.
I don't know what I'm going to do tommorow. I might sleep in though. I believe I may stay up very late tonight. Trisha's got baby-sitting in the morning, so I have some sit-around-and-do-nothing time. I'm beginning to think she's coming out of her long depression, which is good. But now that I've said that... jinx.
I'm working on Monday. I don't usually, but I feel I need the extra money. (to put away, of course.) I'm really bored. I had a double espresso in a can tonight... yeah. I'm just rambling now... anyone like my new picture? I was bored this morning. Yeah...
I'm gonna go now...
tanoshii wakedemonainonine
waraetari suruyouninatta
bokuwa kawatte shimattanokana
OR
I've come to be able to smile
Even when I feel no fun
I wonder if I have changed
current mood:  blank
current music: Stupid Girl- Cold
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12:35 pm - Today, I'm writing of yesterday....
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I almost got fired yesterday in work. Not that my bi-weekly payment of $100 dollars makes much difference in my life, but hey, I like my job. Anyway, if you're reading this you're wondering why. Well, someone said I wasn't doing my job and told me boss. Of course, this is not true... So, I can no longer feel secure at work, or anywhere. Seems like things are constantly getting worse.
I have to work again today, and I fear.
Suteki da ne!
OR
How wonderful it is!
current mood:  confused
current music: Suteki da Ne- Rikki
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| Saturday, June 28th, 2003
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11:37 am - here i am again...
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Here I am again, writing pointlessly indirectly. I called in sick to work today- I'm too tired. I was up all night sick, and didn't sleep til 5AM. This is the earliest I've been up in a awhile. I'm really bored. My head hurts. I know this isn't the place to bitch, but sometimes things get a bit much, you know?
I was staring at the sun yesterday, at around seven pm. First off, I think it's great that it's still out at that time and all, but I miss autumn and winter- I'm not a summer person at all. Anyway, about the sun. I like how if you stare at it for a long time, it turns white, and then all you can see is the sun no matter where you look, because it's so bright, it burnt into you eyes for a while.
People can do that, you know? Burn right fucking into you. Except you see them everywhere, and they won't go away after you blink alot. And it hurts more, and it keeps you up at night, and it makes you scream. I was staring at the sun yesterday, because it's the only thing I can stare at that won't say "I have to go" and never come back. I like sun alot, even if it hurts my eyes.
kono se o oshite ja nakya arukitsudzukeraresou ni nai no
uso nara semete hontou no uso saigo made tsukitooshite
OR-
Help me; if you don't, I don't think I can make it.
If this is a lie, then at least keep the lie going to the end.
current mood:  indescribable
current music: I am...
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| Monday, June 23rd, 2003
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10:08 pm - Another Boring Day!!
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Today was pretty uneventful... I was cleaning my room today- but gave up. Its too small- about the size of a horse's stall- and what sucks even more is that I share my room with a sibling... No room for anything- it's really frustrating.
Oh well. I'm really bored- and I don't have much to say. I need some quick cash- but I'm too busy between work and comm. service. I need to work more- maybe. It does help to get one's mind off of things- and out of the house...
Well, I guess I'm outta here, without anything interesting to say. All I can say is sorry to whoever is reading this!
Chanto kiite'te tsutawaru made sakebitsudzukete miru kara
watashi wa zutto koko ni koko ni koko ni iru no!
~OR~
Listen closely, because I'll keep screaming until you understand:
I've been here, here, here forever.
Bye, guys....
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| Sunday, June 22nd, 2003
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3:44 pm - Stupid me.
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Who even reads this shit anyway? This is my first entry. No one will read it. Interesting. Do you know what I can't stand? People who pretend to be one thing, and are really the other. The odd part is... they think you know that they are really "deep". And use it against you. You know what? They don't know unless you tell them. They won't figure it out.
Now, I'm not making any sense... But, let me tell you. I have this awful habit. I always say the opposite of what I want. I say, go away, but I want you to stay... its so weird. Its like a test, I guess... I was told I was vague, yesterday. I know that. I hate vague people, you know? I can't stand it. Endearing? No way. You know, people don't have to lie. Vague is annoying, don't tell me it's endearing. The same person told my I was astute five minutes later! Whatever, I just want to let people know something- angst- not "deep" is what people love. That's the way it'd come across.
I've been around this damn internet since I was 12. You know, it's really funny, cuz I haven't changed too much. EVeryone changed so much...! Alot. I missed it. Sorry. I know I can't go back. But, do what makes you happy.
Today's been rainy and boring... Dull, like every other day... Things never change...
Kagayakidashita, bokura o dare ga, tomeru koto nado dekiru no darou.
Never forget- we're all athazagoraphobic.
current mood: melancholy
current music: NEVER EVER- Ayumi Hamasaki
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